GENERAL HOLIDAY ADVICE AND SUGGESTIONS:
Sensory overload is very common during the holidays, for us as well our children. It's a time of non-stop field trips, family visits, and the stores are busier than ever, making it easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle. Here are a few tips and tricks to help the whole family get through this season with nothing but joyful memories and lots of pictures.
Earplugs: Many children benefit from wearing earplugs or headphones during big family gatherings or at busy stores. They don't block out all the noise but may dull the noise enough to help. Here are some great kid earmuffs at a reasonable price: http://www.envirosafetyproducts.com/Peltor-Kid-Earmuffs.html
Quiet: Find a nice quiet space, away from everyone. Bring your child's favourite blanket for extra comfort. Don't be afraid to say, "He just wants some quiet for a little while" and let him leave the room of noise, to relax and reset himself. He will rejoin when he's ready. I have taken my sons out of the house and for a quiet drive, then rejoined or not, depending on the situation.
MP3 Players: Some children do well with walking around with music in their ears. Their favourite tunes from an ipod or an MP3 player helps them avoid conversations they don't want to be in and block out too many conversations. I know with issues like Central Auditory Processing, it's very difficult to sit around the table and hear all the conversations happening at once. This little tip has come in handy a few times. When someone is gesturing to the child, he just pops out his ear phones, talks and pops them back in his ears. Yes, it appears rude to some people who don't understand, but it is worth it when the meltdown isn't happening on the drive home.
Touching: This one is very difficult to address, especially with grandparents that just want to hug your child to bits and pieces out of sheer love and joy. Some children love the deep pressure and will spend many happy times getting squeezes and cheek-pinches. Other children, not so much.
I have two boys that loathe being touched. My eldest is much better and will tolerate it now, but my youngest still flinches dramatically. I have taught my youngest to use his words, put his hand out as if saying 'stay' and then say, "No, I don't want to be hugged, but I will shake your hand." This allows him to experience some touching, appropriately, and most adults think it's just adorable and will shake his hand. You can buy or make various t-shirts too; funny, rude, cute - whatever he is in the mood to wear. If your child is non-verbal, let the shirt speak for him:
* "Don't touch me and I won't slap you."
* "I have a bad cold so feel free to hug and kiss me."
* "Back off. Kid with attitude."
Dress comfortably: Many people dress to impress for the holidays. But who can have fun and relax when they’re uncomfortable? "I know you bought your granddaughter that beautiful lace dress. She doesn't want to wear it until I wash it because she heard somewhere that stores spray stuff on outfits. That's why she's in jogging pants today." There is nothing worse than being uncomfortable (lace-shudder), going into an uncomfortable situation. Feel free to cut off tags, wear socks inside out so you don't feel the seams, or even wear your pj's. It's a holiday and kids are cute, you can get away with it
Foods: Holidays provide a great opportunity to try new foods. Taking a bite of squash for the first time can be a delight or a nightmare. I used to call foods strange names to get my boys try them. For example; squash is actually “worm brains”.
If you know your child isn't going to eat what your host has served, that's okay. Use an excuse if you prefer:
* He ate a big breakfast
* He's too full from all the chocolate he ate out of his Christmas stocking
* He's just too tired today or he isn't feeling well.
Bring an alternative food and don't apologize for it. Kids are kids. If they just want a bologna sandwich for Thanksgiving dinner, there's nothing wrong with that. If you accept it as the 'norm', most people around you will too.
Social Stories: Prepare for the event in advance. Write out the agenda, give examples of what may be happening, use pictures, or even role-play different situations. Take time to explain to your child where you are going, what they can expect there, and what is expected of the child while there. If your child will be seeing relatives he hasn’t seen for a long time, try to show him some photos of people so he doesn’t feel like they are complete strangers. Give your child an 'out' like a secret password. Discuss examples of when the password should be used. If your child walks up to you and says 'blue', you will know he needs a break and you can avoid a meltdown.
Bring Activities: We have all been in that room where we are bored stiff and wish we had brought a deck of cards to play solitaire. Bring a new colouring book, the Nintendo DS, a paint by number, a deck of cards, one of those 'peg games' to keep her busy.
Remember - busy hands are not getting into trouble hands!
Send letters in advance: Here is a letter that you may want to alter or take ideas from, to send to events ahead of your arrival. It is a letter written from a child with sensory issues from her perspective: http://www.socialsmartkids.com/main/91.php
Coping methods for the parents: Chocolate and a nap!
Sensory overload is very common during the holidays, for us as well our children. It's a time of non-stop field trips, family visits, and the stores are busier than ever, making it easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle. Here are a few tips and tricks to help the whole family get through this season with nothing but joyful memories and lots of pictures.
Earplugs: Many children benefit from wearing earplugs or headphones during big family gatherings or at busy stores. They don't block out all the noise but may dull the noise enough to help. Here are some great kid earmuffs at a reasonable price: http://www.envirosafetyproducts.com/Peltor-Kid-Earmuffs.html
Quiet: Find a nice quiet space, away from everyone. Bring your child's favourite blanket for extra comfort. Don't be afraid to say, "He just wants some quiet for a little while" and let him leave the room of noise, to relax and reset himself. He will rejoin when he's ready. I have taken my sons out of the house and for a quiet drive, then rejoined or not, depending on the situation.
MP3 Players: Some children do well with walking around with music in their ears. Their favourite tunes from an ipod or an MP3 player helps them avoid conversations they don't want to be in and block out too many conversations. I know with issues like Central Auditory Processing, it's very difficult to sit around the table and hear all the conversations happening at once. This little tip has come in handy a few times. When someone is gesturing to the child, he just pops out his ear phones, talks and pops them back in his ears. Yes, it appears rude to some people who don't understand, but it is worth it when the meltdown isn't happening on the drive home.
Touching: This one is very difficult to address, especially with grandparents that just want to hug your child to bits and pieces out of sheer love and joy. Some children love the deep pressure and will spend many happy times getting squeezes and cheek-pinches. Other children, not so much.
I have two boys that loathe being touched. My eldest is much better and will tolerate it now, but my youngest still flinches dramatically. I have taught my youngest to use his words, put his hand out as if saying 'stay' and then say, "No, I don't want to be hugged, but I will shake your hand." This allows him to experience some touching, appropriately, and most adults think it's just adorable and will shake his hand. You can buy or make various t-shirts too; funny, rude, cute - whatever he is in the mood to wear. If your child is non-verbal, let the shirt speak for him:
* "Don't touch me and I won't slap you."
* "I have a bad cold so feel free to hug and kiss me."
* "Back off. Kid with attitude."
Dress comfortably: Many people dress to impress for the holidays. But who can have fun and relax when they’re uncomfortable? "I know you bought your granddaughter that beautiful lace dress. She doesn't want to wear it until I wash it because she heard somewhere that stores spray stuff on outfits. That's why she's in jogging pants today." There is nothing worse than being uncomfortable (lace-shudder), going into an uncomfortable situation. Feel free to cut off tags, wear socks inside out so you don't feel the seams, or even wear your pj's. It's a holiday and kids are cute, you can get away with it
Foods: Holidays provide a great opportunity to try new foods. Taking a bite of squash for the first time can be a delight or a nightmare. I used to call foods strange names to get my boys try them. For example; squash is actually “worm brains”.
If you know your child isn't going to eat what your host has served, that's okay. Use an excuse if you prefer:
* He ate a big breakfast
* He's too full from all the chocolate he ate out of his Christmas stocking
* He's just too tired today or he isn't feeling well.
Bring an alternative food and don't apologize for it. Kids are kids. If they just want a bologna sandwich for Thanksgiving dinner, there's nothing wrong with that. If you accept it as the 'norm', most people around you will too.
Social Stories: Prepare for the event in advance. Write out the agenda, give examples of what may be happening, use pictures, or even role-play different situations. Take time to explain to your child where you are going, what they can expect there, and what is expected of the child while there. If your child will be seeing relatives he hasn’t seen for a long time, try to show him some photos of people so he doesn’t feel like they are complete strangers. Give your child an 'out' like a secret password. Discuss examples of when the password should be used. If your child walks up to you and says 'blue', you will know he needs a break and you can avoid a meltdown.
Bring Activities: We have all been in that room where we are bored stiff and wish we had brought a deck of cards to play solitaire. Bring a new colouring book, the Nintendo DS, a paint by number, a deck of cards, one of those 'peg games' to keep her busy.
Remember - busy hands are not getting into trouble hands!
Send letters in advance: Here is a letter that you may want to alter or take ideas from, to send to events ahead of your arrival. It is a letter written from a child with sensory issues from her perspective: http://www.socialsmartkids.com/main/91.php
Coping methods for the parents: Chocolate and a nap!
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